girl-aflame's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scary Hurdle No. 1: Check Ok. Version 2 of this entry. Richard's URL crashed my AOL :-S Oh well I forgive you, Richard. Anyway... the day was wonderful. Much more low key than prom but that's to be expected. I got the jitters sometimes but I got over them for the most part. And they didn't even come into my house so *laughs* I did all that cleaning for nothing. The place needed it, though, so it was OK. I think that boy is a good influence on me :) His family is really really nice. I liked his parents and his great aunt the best, but everyone else was friendly too. I thought his dad was scary and yay, it turns out he isn't at all! And his mother is charming. His great aunt was SOO sweet. She hugged me and laughed and talked with me and just generally made me feel welcome and wanted. Awww <3 And I see where Guy gets his manners from. His dad opened the door for me, twice. The door to their BMW 7 series. Holy cow... what a car. I told Guy when we were alone going to the movies that I'd better enjoy sitting in it now because I'll probably never get close to a car that nice again *laughs* We ate at the Charleston Crab House. I had the buffet to make sure I ate everything that was on my plate, and I did :) and Guy's dad picked up the check for everyone. I'm not used to having that done for me and I feel sorta weird but of course I didn't say anything about it. Guy was as always, sweet and charming and funny and witty and cute and just all around... You thought I was going to say perfect, didn't you? Well, no, loves, I learned long ago that perfect doesn't exist. Brian and I are perfect for each other but that doesn't mean we're perfect. There are other factors at work in this world that determine whether or not a romance will be a success, and I'm beginning to think none of them are on my side. If Lord of the Rings is my movie for symbolism with Brian, then The Matrix: Reloaded is my movie for current symbolism with Guy. Spoilers coming up, so if you haven't seen it yet and you want to, click here The whole thing with Neo being "the one" is highly symbolic. There was that scene where all the sick/needy people were gathered around him, and he wanted to go with Trinity but she said she'd see him later. "But I need you" he said. "No," she said, "They need you." Wow, if that isn't the whole priest thing then I don't know what is. And he can't sleep, just like Guy, and he won't let Trinity in, just like Guy, and he's having to make a choice between two paths - saving Zion and being "the one" or saving Trinity. The whole thing was a running theme on choice and fate, and frankly my dear, my face is getting awfully bruised from all this irony. The whole dynamics between Trinity and Neo were pretty uncomfortable, because before we got to the movie we talked about going to see the next one decked out in all black. I have already told him he looks like Neo in his mirror sunglasses at prom, and so I said I would have to wear my whole leather ensemble and go as Trinity. So then we go to the movie and they have that ten minute sex scene. Yeah, grrrrrrreat timing Michelle. This whole coincidence thing is getting on my nerves. Why does the Divine have to be so snooty and hoity toity by flaunting their omniscience all the time? Why can't I just live my life blindly like most people? Well, we exchanged yearbook messages. Even though I didn't go to his school he wanted me to sign it :) So I said I would, of course, on the condition that he signed mine. I felt bad 'cause mine was shorter than his and not as sweet, but now we're even because he just gave me the generic goodbye message at Governor's School and I gave him a sweet, nice one. Plus I just sent him my senior picture with a sweet message and he didn't write on the backs of his. But anyway, these are excerpts from what he wrote: "I never would have guessed how close we would grow after a hundred miles rose up between us. Prom was great, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did - I know I'll remember it more fondly than either of the ones at Dreher.... Well, I'm glad Derek decided to join you that day. I would have never known what I would have been missing." So things are going slowly in some direction or other. Steadily, but slowly. And although I'm used to relationships progressing faster and more closely, I'm happy with this. This anxiety, these jitters, this unknowing and this uncertainty, they're all part of the game of being 18. I don't have to make up my mind yet - life is just beginning. And although I don't really believe I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with Guy, I'm meant to spend it with somebody (I think) - and when he comes along, I want it to be just like this: not in any rush.. just taking it slow. 9:35 p.m. - Sunday, May. 18, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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