girl-aflame's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Getting Through I'm getting more stable with every day that passes, although these days I am so overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done, and it seems that it needs to be done in a very short time to boot. I was very pleased today though because some company saw my resume and wanted me to apply. They are probably sending out mass mails to everyone graduating college in June, but still it gave me a little sense of hope that there will be something out there for me. Recreating my personality is going to take a long while. I would very much like to find my own style and my own kind of music and things that I love to watch and to read. Reading is something I am looking forward to doing a great deal of when I leave college. I want to have a wider sense of literature and also to be more familiar with modern books. I want to develop things to talk about and to be passionate about. I am also working on constructing the kind of boy I am looking for. I think having a lack of standards is what got me into a relationship that I knew for a while wasn't right for me but still I had doubts about it's incorrectness. For a while I began to believe that you could make it work with anyone and that adults did not have silly notions of finding the right person. This broken heart lets me know that that is certainly not the case. I have always wanted to believe in fate and divine purpose, and now I am free to believe whatever I wish without anyone to mock me for it or make me feel ashamed of it. I am a romantic and never again do I want to be made to feel badly for it. I have lost him but I may find myself because of it. I think that is better. 3:05 p.m. - Friday, Jan. 05, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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