girl-aflame's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lofty Ambition *sigh* Yesterday everything was crap and I still felt peachy. Today everything is normal and I feel blue. Tomorrow is the Lit Meet. I have to give an extemporaneous speech. The bad thing is that last year they gave out the topics beforehand and I had all my speeches written before I got there. This year they didn't have the topics. Last year I won. This year, I'm going to suck. The bad thing about that is I did so well last year that everyone is expecting me to win again. Disappointment is quite possibly the worst emotion in the human spectrum. And I don't know which is worse - to be disappointed yourself, or to disappoint others. Crystal, my arch enemy, was also planning on going on the Lit Meet for "Dramatic Interpretation". Ha! Fortunately for her she's sick and can't go because I don't know what on God's green earth possessed her to pick that category. She stutters and stumbles over her words; its like her mouth gets filled up with saliva and she's too busy to swallow it. Well today Mrs. Hall wanted me to call her and tell her it was Ok that she couldn't go, just get well, all that bloody rot. First time I wished I weren't her teacher's aid. Thank God the answering machine picked up. I didn't even tell her who it was; I just delivered Mrs. Hall's message. There's a very long story behind why I hate Crystal. Maybe if I get some St. John's Wart in me I can take the time to tell you about it. I realize this is very unstimulating today but..hell. I'm tired. Go read herodthenut if you want entertainment. Speaking of people on my buddy list.. infinidox is finally linking to me, the bugger. He broke down and gave in. Now I will drown him in my pits of sorrow. Do you want to drown in the pits of sorrow too, dear reader? Go join my growing list of linkers. Also, Brian had a DF meeting tonight. That stands for Dansk Folkparti. The Danish People Party. He wants to move up in the politics world, to get influence about our immigration situation. He has accepted a nomination to run for county chairman, and wants to shoot for the EU parliment in Bruxel in 2004. I don't know, really. He always stays so busy and involved with things. In a way, I admire it and its one of the reasons I love him so much. My family never does shit. We give introverts a bad name. And I'm sick of the hermit life. But he's already busy as it is and he always seems to take on these huge projects for himself. As it stands, he is the webmaster/newsletter guy for their local DF committee, and also the treasurer. The website/newsletter kind of go hand in hand, but theoretically someone else could take it over. I don't know why he wants to take it all on at once. Actually yes, I do. He's a businessman. He likes to conquer things. And he's good at it; it's what he loves to do. I just don't like it when he spreads himself thin - and I don't want to be pushed aside for bureaucrats...or worse...secretaries. I'm a paranoid little fudger. I don't know what happened; I never used to be this way. *sighs* I know its impossible now, and all my hope is gone for any time in the near future, but I still wish I could have gone home this year. Fairy tales are more than myths; they can actually happen - but they take such a tedious precise aligning of circumstances that jiggling the fates just a little too far left or right sets the whole thing toppling out of the pink clouds back into reality. 6:33 p.m. - Tuesday, Feb. 04, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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