girl-aflame's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Praise Whore Ahh...everyone is gone to church. I'm glad my family has rediscovered their spirituality - it gives me hours of weekly peace and quiet! *munches happily on her frosted flakes* Today was a perfect day. We went to periods 1-3, then we were scheduled to go on a Physics field trip to the ice skating rink, to see regelation in action. We were supposed to go yesterday but the trip was rescheduled today. Except, when we get there, we discover whoever talked to our teacher (Heather's mother, btw...maybe it's time for a cast page?) didn't inform anyone else at the rink we were rescheduling. So they all expected us yesterday, and oh did we pull the wool over their eyes, coming today. Except today was "synchronized skating day" *laughs* so all the rinks were closed! Well we had already planned on missing 4th period, lunch, 5th period, and most of 6th (the last one), so of course, like any responsible and prudent group of high schoolers - we decide to go across the street to the mall. *laughs* Score! So, that's where I spent my day, walking around the mall, with Heather, Mrs. Vrieland, Chase, and - oh yeah, I was the other person. *laughs* We had an absolutely grand time. Mrs. Vrieland is not always the best of teachers (for various reasons...I guess I will put up a cast page)...but out of class, she's a blast. And Heather was in a particularly good mood so that was working, and Chase was doting on me like a helpless puppy and...well...it's just good for my self esteem. *laughs* Not to mention someone declared it unofficial "Lets Give Michelle Attention" day...While in Sears, Heather spots this red prom dress and insists that not only is it SO me, but I have to try it on - right then and there. So I do and..I'm not sure..I don't know if red is too flashy or not, but I did like the style of dress. I'm considering it. THEN Mrs. Vrieland finds yet another dress in Belk, which they also insist I try on. That one I didn't like as much (for a prom dress, anyway, I did like it, but it isn't the feel I'm going for right now.) but still...that my Physics teacher was picking out prom dresses for me, Yeah, it rocked hard. They all said I looked really pretty in the red one so I think I'll go back and give it a second look. And of course, I had Heather and Chase give me their opinions on new glasses frames. I'm going to get glasses before I go to college (I used to wear them when I was younger) because I think it'll be cheaper than having to buy disposable contacts all the time. So, all in all *laughs* It was a pretty me centered outing. *GOD THAT SOUNDS SO VAIN!* I apologize *laughs* I don't know, I guess I just needed something to cheer me up. This whole ordeal I've been going through with Brian has really worked on my self esteem. When he met me, I had awful self esteem - he helped me bring it up a lot. He always praises me and tells me how beautiful I am and all that. But then, when we stop almost all our physical things, making love, taking pictures, all this - I realized, my self esteem didn't necessarily get better, I just started rooting it in him. Without his praise, I still don't have any real self esteem. I know, it needs fixing - I just really don't know how to fix it. You know, I have always wanted to go to a therapist. I wish I could afford it. Weird, since I'm planning on being one...*laughs* Don't tell any of my future clients, huh? I also saw Brian after school, which was a nice conversation. I was so proud because we actually didn't keep him here so long! He came at four, then left by about 5:30 or so. And it was still a nice, soft conversation. I think I'll mention that in my letter to him tonight - it isn't how much time we spend together so much as how good the time is we do get to spend. The package still isn't here yet...*sighs* I'm afraid it got lost. He put in a search for it with the post office tonight, hoepfully that they'll get to tomorrow. It's really depressing - it's all going to be stale. And, also...*beams* I got my review!! You can read it here...Wow, I was really nervous about it! But it is a good review and that makes me feel very happy (more of that false self esteem stuff, I guess.) I thought for sure I was going to get blasted for my links not being labeled that well - but she gave me a suggestion to put titles over them (the little yellow captions that come up onMouseOver) and I hadn't even thought of that. I'm definitely going to do that. I also thought that maybe I'll add a "How To Use This Diary" page - because it ties in with my website, and because all the people links you can click are popup windows and all that. Plus, she didn't find my links page, because the link for it is kind of obscure (those elipses right beside "me")...so I'll have to address that, somehow. After I got it I wrote the reviewer a gushing e-mail..*laughs* I was so estatic and when she wrote back I could just imagine her going like, "Geez woman, I gave you a review, not a kidney!" but... well, I DO have a tendency to over do things, sometimes. Someday I'll tell you the story about my English teacher leaving in seventh grade. *Laughs* Oh, the humiliation... 7:35 p.m. - Wednesday, Jan. 22, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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