girl-aflame's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Extreme Ways elliorange decided that when her notes page got too long, and the loading time was cumbersome, she would delete some of them. I was horrified by the thought at first, but now my notes page's loading time is cumbersome, and I am following her up on it. But don't fret, minions, I love your words too much to just send them to the cyber wastelands. I'm taking screenshots of the page, and cropping out the individual notes, one by one. I then save the file as the member name of the person who left the note (adding an incremental number to the end of files from users that have given me multiple notes), and, because I do it from the bottom up, if I arrange the files in the folder by the time of their modification, it's the same as seeing who left what notes when. The reason for this entry (yeah, there is one), is that, I figure after I catch up with all the notes, I will just let the page fill up again and then repeat this process. Elli keeps only 8 notes on her page at any given time. It just makes me notice that I am the kind of person who would rather put out a lot of effort after a long time to rectify a far gone situation than the kind of person who is content to put out a small amount of effort, albeit constant, to maintain things and keep them under control. I, on the other hand, would rather travel the edge of death and back on a regular basis. Thus far I have always been able to redeem myself. Situations that I thought unsaveable were proven tensile indeed. You can see a pattern of this in any of my relationships, my school work from the past few years, or even my housecleaning habits. I always let it pile up until at last I can't stand it anymore and must do something about it. And when I do, I feel much better. So much better that I don't touch it again until it is in dire dire need of attention once more. This is the way that I write; my emotions build up in me until finally they explode forth in a burst of poetry. This is the way I love; I put off talking about things for as long as possible, until at last I cannot stall any longer for my sanity or the safety of the relationship, and then I take care of the issues and they all magically seem to come out OK. This is the way I live. I don't really think that's a good thing. Everything logical in my body tells me that balance is the key to happiness, the key to not going insane, the key to getting ahead in this world. But everything that I am, without having to think about it, everything involuntary inside me, everything that comes naturally about being Michelle cries out for the extremes, the obsessions, the overindulgences. Very cruel of nature to create a person with my mentality. Very cruel of nature to designate me for the job. 3:25 a.m. - Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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